Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Dog's Rules for Christmas

Hi everyone! The fat one "They" call Santa Paws will soon be making his rounds, delivering baby Jesus in the chimneys of the good puppies and leaving the kitties a grinch...I think that's how it works anyway.

My mommy posted this on her BookFace thing last year. She has no idea where it came from, so if you know an author source, let us know so we can give proper credit (I don't want to spend Christmas in dog jail!) It has very important tips, some of which my Christmas guides have touched on. Of course, #7 is probably most important. And for anyone mad about kitties getting grinches, I was kidding...unless that's what really happens. Maybe you should give kitties these tips and they can get a baby Jesus, too!

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:

a. Don't pee on the tree

b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree

c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree

d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open

e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:

a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans

b. Don't eat off the buffet table

c. Beg for goodies subtly

d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa

e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:

a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)

b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house

c. Tolerate children

d. Turn on your charm big time

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.DON'T BITE HIM!!

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