Friday, December 30, 2011

Greatest Christmas Ever

Hi friends! Sorry for the long silence. Mommy may be off work this week, but she's been doing lots of projects around the house. Those projects make her tired and when I ask if she'll help me with the blog she just says, "In a little while." Well, apparently that means in 40-leventy billion years.

I had the best Christmas ever! I've already shared Christmas with Daddy's family and for "calendar" Christmas, we went to Mommy's parents' house. But first, we took a little drive to a house here in town that loves their Christmas lights:

There was a family here that spoke Spanish also checking out the lights. A little girl called me a "perro." I was about to tell her I wasn't a perro, I was a Mister dog, but Mom said a perro IS a dog in Spanish. So now I know Spanish! I'm a Senor perro (or would it be perro Senor?)

Anyway, this is me and my Dad on the steps of Christmas house. We had a fun outing.

The next day, we left for Grandma and Grandpa's house. They live in Tennessee and have 3 kitty cats! I loved the kitty cats and they didn't seem to mind me, either!

Hi there. What are you? You have 4 legs and a tail like a dog, but I don't think you're a dog.

On Christmas morning, I saw Santa Paws found me all the way in Tennessee! I'm so glad Mom called him to let him know our travel plans.

We opened stockings and I had lots of treats! I even tried to just grab the plastic bag from Mom. She wrestled it away and gave me one of the chewies.

I'm not sure if Barbara was the present or if she just thought she was a present

Santa also brought me a new bed and it's PAW-SOME! Nice and fluffy and great spots to lay my head on.

My family on Christmas

Me enjoying all of my new bedding!

So that was my Christmas. I hope everyone else had a great weekend. I'm a little worried about this weekend. I seem to have misplaced my mommy!

Friday, December 23, 2011

Mister's Guide to Christmas (Part 4)

Hi everyone!

We're only 2 days away from the big guy's trip around the least here in America. Mom said some countries celebrate Christmas on different days, so that's how Santa Paws can come to all the good puppies' houses and deliver baby Jesuses.

We are going to my other Grandma and Grandpa's house for presents (I hope I get one!) and food. My Aunt Melanie will be there and she's a huge sucker for my puppy dog eyes (remember that tip from Thanksgiving? Use it now, too!)

Mom is officially on vacation from work now, too, so that means even more snuggle time! We went by the Barkery today. I sniffed lots of smells. Mom wouldn't let me see what she got, but I caught a whiff of something delicious when we got back to the car...

I have just a couple more tips for everybody: Christmas Tip #8: Wrap all the presents. However, much like decorating, don't help too much or you'll get wrapped (see below).

Mom, you are so embarrassing

This picture is actually a little staged. When I'm helping Mom wrap presents (she's chief wrapper in our house), I usually just nap under the futon, not be right in the middle of everything.

Finally, Christmas Tip #9: Take time out to rest, relax, and be with your loved ones.

"I thought maybe we could make ginger bread houses, and eat cookie dough, and go ice skating, and maybe even hold hands." -Elf, 2003

In case I don't see everyone this weekend, my whole pack wishes yours a merry Christmas. To our Jewish pals, we hope your Hanukah celebrations are wonderful. If your pack celebrates Kwanza, best wishes for that as well. If you've already celebrated winter solstice, we hope that was special. Also, today is Festivus, so we wish you luck during the feats of strength and airing of grievances (and Mom said if you have no idea what we're talking about, read this).

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A Dog's Rules for Christmas

Hi everyone! The fat one "They" call Santa Paws will soon be making his rounds, delivering baby Jesus in the chimneys of the good puppies and leaving the kitties a grinch...I think that's how it works anyway.

My mommy posted this on her BookFace thing last year. She has no idea where it came from, so if you know an author source, let us know so we can give proper credit (I don't want to spend Christmas in dog jail!) It has very important tips, some of which my Christmas guides have touched on. Of course, #7 is probably most important. And for anyone mad about kitties getting grinches, I was kidding...unless that's what really happens. Maybe you should give kitties these tips and they can get a baby Jesus, too!

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:

a. Don't pee on the tree

b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree

c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree

d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open

e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree

5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:

a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans

b. Don't eat off the buffet table

c. Beg for goodies subtly

d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa

e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach

6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:

a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)

b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house

c. Tolerate children

d. Turn on your charm big time

7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night.DON'T BITE HIM!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Mister's Guide to Christmas (Part 3)

Hi everyone! I hope your week has been filled with snuggles and kisses. My week hasn't been all that great. Since the kids are all out of school, Mom has to work a lot. Luckily, I have a super cool new crate pad and blankie to make me feel better. Plus she promises all kinds of snuggle time next week because her office is closed! Yippee!

We've also been putting finishing touches on Christmas things around here, which leads me to a tip:
Mister's Guide to Christmas Tip #7: Help make gifts for people (and fur friends)

This is me helping mom make hot chocolate snowmen for the ladies at Daddy's work. They all love me, so I thought I'd give Mom a paw.

The finished product. Mom said the jars are bigger than they're supposed to be, but I think they are still fun!

Just don't be TOO helpful :/

Sunday, December 18, 2011

First Christmas

Hi everyone! This was the best weekend ever! This weekend, we went to That Daddy Guy's parents house. We stayed there for one night and went to Mawmaw and Pawpaw's for Christmas! Real Christmas isn't for another week, but we're going to Mommy's parents', so we celebrated early with Dad's. The really best part? Since Dad's room is cold, I got to sleep on the big bed with Mom and Dad! I made Mom's feet really hot one night, but then I moved up towards the know, where I belong :)

Here's my Guide to Christmas Tip #6: Remember all that help in the kitchen you gave for Thanksgiving, do it again! The treats are just as yummy!

Here's me helping Grandpa and Grandma. I also helped Grandma put frosting on a cake. It was yummy!

Mawmaw's tree. I hope there's a present for me!

What did you get, Dad? Can I eat it? I want it!

Oh boy! A treat!

All of my presents: treats, a new blankie, and a crate pad! Plus I got spoiled rotten by Grandma and Pawpaw.

Aw geez, Dad. This is embarrassing!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Good Day

Wow! Mommy totally made up for leaving me all alone the other day.

First, I DID get to walking with Molly and her mom. We went to the Arboretum again. We had so much fun, Mommy forgot to take pictures of us. Molly had a great time bounding and jumping and leaping. I just liked to sniff stuff and pee on it. Lots of other walkers were out with their dogs, too, so I said hi to them.

After we came home, everyone relaxed on the couch and after dinner, my people took me on another walk. This one was short-our usual evening walk. But there was some excitement up the street. Three fire trucks had their lights flashing (no sirens, thankfully) near a house. We couldn't see what was going on, but nothing looked wrong.

Mom decided to soak in the tub after that (I will never understand why the humans insist on going in the wet box and willingly get in the tub) and I laid on her laundry. That way she can smell like me!

The very best part of the night though was after Mom's soak. My people decided to read in bed and they let up to snuggle with them!!!! I was so excited. They almost let me sleep there, but Mom chases rabbits in her sleep and Dad was afraid I'd fall off. They promised I could sleep in the big bed this weekend when we go to my grandparents for first Christmas!

The fun didn't stop there though! This morning, Mommy took me to PetSmart. We wandered all over and looked at all kinds of stuff. She finally picked up something, but said I wasn't allowed to see because it was a Christmas present. I wasn't really listening though. I just wanted to go to the check-out line and get my treat!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Hi everyone!

Yesterday was terrible. My people got all dressed up and left me ALL ALONE and went out to eat at a fancy restaurant. They said since it was fancy, I probably wouldn't like it. Um, hello? Have you met me? I've never met a food I wouldn't try! I'm pretty sure this is abuse.

Today has been pretty great though. My mommy finally got with it and made me my own Google account! Now I can comment myself on everyone's blogs and have my profile show up! There have also been rumbles of visiting my pal, Molly, and her mommy again. I hope so, even though it's a little cold outside.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Mister's Guide to Christmas (Part 2)

I hope everyone is having a good week. It's very cold here and has been raining lots. Of course, I still make Mom go on a walk every morning when she wakes up. It's good for her. That snow stuff can't decide if it wants to come or not. I hope not. It's very cold, even if it does taste yummy (just stay away from the yellow kind).

I have a very important Christmas tip for my fur-pals. The humans are busy decorating the house for Christmas and at some point they will bring in a tree. Tip #4: DO NOT PEE ON THE TREE!!! Some families have a real tree, some have a fake tree. Either way, do not pee on it!

I know, I know. You're thinking, "But Mister, why would my people bring a tree into the house if they didn't want me to pee on it. After all, it's very cold and maybe they don't want to let me outside to potty." That is a very good argument, but arguing with the humans is a lesson in futility (my daddy taught me that word). The reason the humans bring a tree into the house is because they're crazy. But you already know that. Besides, if there was no tree, Santa Paws wouldn't know where you want him to leave presents. So unless you want wet gifts, stay far away from the tree.

I have another tip to go along with that. It applies mostly to kitty cats, but some of you canines might want to know too. Tip 4a) Do not climb the tree. Again, the humans are crazy. Probably too much eggnog (except my people don't drink eggnog...hmmm). Either way, they're more likely to pass off yummy treats if you leave the tree alone.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Basketball and Santa

Hey friends! My people and I are enjoying a quiet day today. Yesterday, my grandparents and Uncle Ryan came to my house. They all went shopping and brought home an entire tree (more on that later). Then everyone watched the Kentucky Wild(kitty)cats basketball team beat the North Carolina goats...or something. Then, they went back to their houses and my people started cleaning up for MORE people to come over. We all had great fun.

I just wanted to share something my pal, Bandit, wrote for a magazine. He's a great writer and he explains why we should all be excited for the Santa Paws guy to break into our house in a few more days! Scroll down to page 53. I'm not sure how I'd feel about the UPS guy bringing me a baby and dumping it in my breakfast, but it's why everyone is happy for Christmas!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Mister's Guide to Christmas (Part 1)

Hi everyone!
I had a big week with my mom. She turned in her last papers of the semester for school, so now she has lots of free time to rub my belly! Yay!

To celebrate, she took me with her on some errands. First stop was the Bluegrass Barkery, a local pet food store. I was low on my food and Mom also wanted to see what they had for Christmas presents.

We got my food and even a small bag of treats, to make sure I had enough until Christmas). Mom and the check-out guy were talking about new treat flavors they were coming out with and Mom said she wished they made people treats! If you're in town, you should check them out.

Next stop was the bank.

The bank is my second favorite place ever (next to the store, of course). I can always charm the people into giving me a treat. My tail wags reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally fast, too.

We also ran by the V-E-T to get more of my medicine. They even knew us by name. Mom said that wasn't necessarily a good thing. Moms are funny that way.

By the time we got home, the sky started dripping the white stuff.

I remember that from last year. It's called snow and it's cold, wet, and delicious. This snow didn't stay in the yard, but was still fun to watch.

My second favorite holiday is coming up soon and I have a few tips.
1) The humans get really busy this time of year, so make sure you hang out with them as much as possible. Jump and bark and do whatever to make sure they don't forget about you.
2) Some of your humans may be hosting parties (mine are this weekend). See my Thanksgiving tips for how to handle the people and the food.
3) No matter what, when the decorations come out, stay far, far away. I learned that the hard way.

Monday, November 28, 2011


Wow! This has been the best weekend EVER! I knew there was a reason Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday. As I mentioned, my grandma, grand-paw, and great-grandma all came to my house. Then we all went to Daddy's grandparents' house. I had a big weekend, so I've got lots of pictures to share.

Of course, I helped Mawmaw and Pawpaw in the kitchen as much as possible

I even threw in a "sit" just for good measure. It worked, too. Pawpaw gave me lots of little turkey pieces.

There were two other puppy dogs there and I didn't like when they tried to chase me. This was my home base and they knew not to bug me there!

Daddy protecting me from the other dogs

Me and my mom

Me and Grand-paw (on Dad's side)

Grandma (on Dad's side) giving me part of her dessert

This is everyone. On the couch is Aunt Reva, Sadie and Barker, Uncle Ryan, Daddy, me, Mommy, and Great (on mom's side). Standing is Grandpaw and Grandma (on Mom's side), Mawmaw (on Dad's side), Uncle Rick, Grandma and Grandpaw and Pawpaw (on Dad's side). That's a lot of sides...I think I ran out of paws counting all that!

This is Grandma (Mom's side) giving me belly rubs the rest of the weekend. Yes please and thank you. I even let Grandpaw (Mom's side) pet on me. Not much, but he was excited.

The fun didn't stop there. On Saturday, Daddy's football team, the Kentucky Wild(kitty)cats beat Tennessee. I didn't understand for a long time why everyone was yelling and everyone on TV was crying. They should be happy! Well, Dad explained that Kentucky had not won since Mommy was 8 months old. She's like, a thousand millonty years old now, so that's a long time. The people were crying because they were so happy and never thought they'd win. Humans are weird. On my walk that evening, I had to wear my bandana to celebrate!

The bad news was Mommy's team lost, so that made her sad, but I cheered her up by giving her lots of kisses. Mommy is lucky to have me.

Now that the turkey is eaten, it's time for Christmas. I think instead of one week-long series, I'll just post tips as they come up.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Mister's Guide to Thanksgiving (part 4)

I hope everyone has enjoyed my Thanksgiving guides. I'm already trying to think of tips for Christmas, so if any friends have suggestions let me know.

I have 2 tips for everyone tonight.

Mister's Thanksgiving Tip #4: Be a help in the kitchen

Need help with that pun'kin pie, Dad?

Many humans will begin Thanksgiving cooking at least the night before (some even a week in advance). Of course, your help is absolutely necessary to clean up any messes on the floor (clean up, not make. You should stand at the back door and wait to be let out for that). Not only does this give the humans one less job, but you'll also get a preview of the deliciousness to come.

Mister's Thanksgiving Tip #5: Pick up people from the airport and answer the door for people driving to your house.

My great-grandma (far left) flew in and me, That Daddy Guy, and Mommy all went to pick her up. Daddy and I waited outside while Mom met her inside. I had fun people watching.

Grandma and Grand-paw drove up and arrived an hour later. I ran to answer the door, but that darn knob is just too high. I should write my Congress-person about that.

Whew! I don't know about you all, but all of these Thanksgiving preparations wear a dog OUT. Get plenty of rest tonight. Tomorrow is a big day!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Mister's Guide to Thanksgiving (part 3)

Hi everyone! Today is a yucky, rainy day. Mommy had to go to the work place early and she left me all alone with That Daddy Guy. We had a pretty good time, though. I let him rub my belly, give me breakfast, and take me on a walk.

Today's Thanksgiving tip is probably the most important one of all.

Mister's Thanksgiving Tip #3: Practice "Puppy Dog Eyes"

Puppy Dog Eyes. They are the window to all things yummy. Perfect that look and there isn't a THING your people won't give you (except maybe chocolate. Or grapes. Or on
ions. Those are all bad for puppy dogs).

Bonus: Make sure you can spot the biggest sucker in the room. They're the ones most likely to give you yummy things. You might need to add in a really good "sit." This shows the people you're serious about wanting what they have.

Sometimes the direct approach works, too!

You bigger dogs may also want to employ the "head on a knee" look as well. It's a little hard for me, but you just give the human a great puppy dog eye look and then gently put your head on your sucker person's leg. It'll work. every. time.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Mister's Guide to Thanksgiving (part 2)

Now that you've helped Mom get the house clean for Grandma, it's time for my next Thanksgiving Tip.
Mister's Thanksgiving Tip #2: Clean yourself.

I know, I know. This probably means a b-a-t-h for many of you. You feline friends are lucky. You clean yourselves! I do this some too, but lately my people have been sniffing me and saying, "Mister! You smell like DOG." To which I respond, "And you smell like Human. What's the problem?"

Your people (or person) will probably drag you to the groomer. Be super excited in the car. You never know. They could fake you out and take you to the bank! Or even better, Starbucks! When the car is parked and your human lets you out, keep being excited and explore everything. Go up to people and say hi. They love that.

When Mom opens the door, lock those legs! You get bonus points if you can do that AND back up. She'll say hi to the meanies and say good-bye, while the groomer does terrible things. Like get you wet. Blech. I hate water!

After fifty million thousand hours, the groomer will call your mom and say "Your baby is ready!" And then Mom comes to get you. Luckily, you've fooled the groomer with your charm and she tells your mom that you were so good and she just loves you. This will probably get you a treat when you come home. You will also smell funny. Don't worry. That goes away in a couple of days (about the time your people will start telling you you smell like dog again...huh. Weird).

On the plus side, you might get a spiffy bandana for your troubles.

Stop by tomorrow for Thanksgiving Tip #3: Practice Puppy Dog Eyes!

Adopt a Pet

Hi everyone! Mom found this while not typing on my blog, but wanted to share THIS. It's a series of commercials promoting adoption.

Remember, you might think a puppy or other pet might be a perfect gift for someone for Christmas. IT'S NOT!!! Even something small like a gerbil snack or fish requires commitment. Do not give a pet as a gift unless you have spoken to all involved and everyone is on board.

Mom hopes to get pictures loaded to the computer and get my next Thanksgiving tip up later today!

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Mister's Guide to Thanksgiving (part 1)

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been pretty quiet lately. Mom is my typist and she's been hogging the computer. Something about schoolwork. I wasn't really listening. I was just trying to get my belly rubbed.

Anyway, there is a very important holiday coming up this week. That holiday is called "Thanksgiving." It's my most favoritest holiday because it's all about my favoritest activity: eating! The humans cook up a huge meal, eat more than their tummies can hold, and then take long naps and watch football. Of course, everyone sneaks me some, too. Since it's such a smorgasbord for yummy things, I thought I'd pass along a few tips, so everyone is ready for it!

Tip #1 Clean the house

Thanksgiving means Grandma! And as any dog knows, Grandma = Mom cleaning like crazy. Last year, both my grandmas came to my house.

The humans at Thanksgiving last year (my Aunt Melanie was taking the picture). Don't be fooled by the date on the picture.

This year, my great-grandma (Dad's side) invited everyone to her house, even Mom's family! Isn't she great? Anyway, even though that's one less grandma here, the other one is staying with us, so Mom's got a long list of what to clean. Of course, I've been my usual helpful self.

"Mom, you missed a spot."

Up next: Tip #2: Clean yourself

Friday, November 11, 2011


Today is a very important day. Today is Veterans Day. No, not the V-E-T Day. A veteran is someone who served in the military. These people keep our country safe so we can have warm beds and plenty of peanut butter. Mom is a little sad today, because a close friend of her family's died earlier this week. He was a veteran, serving in the Navy. Today is the funeral. She can't go, but Grandma and Grandpa are there. Mom's uncle is there, too. He is a veteran, too. He fought in Vietnam. If you find a veteran, make sure you give them a big sloppy kiss to say "Thank you."

Of course, there are also dog veterans. Dogs have very important jobs in the military. If you find one, let them sniff you just a little longer.

Also, today is a special day because all of the numbers are the same! 11-11-11. I don't know what all of that means, but Mom says it will never happen for another forty-billion hundred years.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

My Secret is Out

My daddy told a story on me today. Every morning, he lets me out of jail after he's done getting ready to go to that work place. I do my morning yoga poses and then roll over so Daddy can rub my belly. I have him trained well.

Today, when Daddy came home he told my mommy on me. He said that I particularly enjoyed my belly rub today and gave him a big smile. Mommy was still sleeping, so he couldn't take a picture, but here's me letting him rub on me after dinner.

I didn't like men people when I first came home, but this one's starting to grow on me. Just don't tell him that. I don't want him thinking he's suddenly in charge!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Whew! My second least favorite holiday is over. Mom wasn't too sure how I'd do with Halloween this year, since there's a lot more families in the neighborhood than last year. I barked and ran to the door, but never ran out the door, so she counts it successful.
The real reason I don't like Halloween is the stupid costumes. Last year, Mom dressed me up like BatDog

As You can tell, the legs were a little long. Since I couldn't walk, Mom just let me wear the cape part and I didn't mind that.

She made me be a football this year.

Mom said this was her Heisman pose. I don't know what a Heisman is, but I don't think I like it.

Anyway, I did have fun seeing the human puppies in their costumes.

Just don't punt, pass, kick, or fumble me.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Pumpkins and Zombies

If you follow me on Twitter, you know I had a very exciting night. Mom and Dad decided at the last minute to go downtown and see a bunch of carved pumpkins like ours and watch a parade.

Mom and Dad went to a college called "Transylvania." Since it was founded, the name has also become famous because it's where Dracula lives. So Transy loves Halloween. The latest festivity added is called "Pumpkin Mania." 250 students, faculty, and friends carved pumpkins and they put them on the steps of the administration building. It's also the building that has a real life tomb.

My dad, me, and Mom

After we looked at all the pumpkins (and I sniffed a few other doggies there), we went further downtown to the Thriller parade. This isn't any old parade. The people are all dressed as zombies (whatever those are) and they dance to Michael Jackson's (whoever he is) song "Thriller." Only one isn't a zombie and he's dressed like Michael.

That's Michael

And these are zombies.

I got a little nervous because there was a big crowd for the parade. But Mom and Dad bent down and gave me lots of pets and everyone else standing with us gave me a little room to wander. I also sniffed a dog dressed as a skeleton a lot! It made me excited to put on my costume tonight!